Getting Fenner
by LesbianGiraffe
Summary: Karen Betts and Neil Grayling are trying to create a legal case against Jim Fenner but the need help from an old colleague. When they go to visit her, they get a bit of a shock.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok I wrote this over the summer. Its set in series 5 at some point around episodes 10 or 11. The chapters are all quite short.**

Neil was in a bad mood. Jim and Karen had been at each other's necks for months now, it was obvious that one of them had to go. Karen was definitely the better officer and had probably caused less problems, she would doubtless be much more cooperative if Jim was no longer around. However, Jim would be harder to get rid of because he was so slippery and he could still drag out what happened at Neil's stag do, even if it was only one man's word against another it could still scupper everything.

Weighing up the options, he decided that he had the most evidence against Fenner, however, he still needed more. He knew Karen was planning to go and visit Shell Dockley to hear her side of the story about what happened the day she was shipped out, and that she had her own rape allegation to add to the pile, so Neil thought that he would follow up the other lead that he had heard about. Helen Stewart.


	2. Chapter 2

As the sun was setting, Helen and Nikki rolled out of the car into the house carrying bulging cotton shopping bags and giggling like young school girls. It still amazed them both that a simple trip to the supermarket could still feel like an adventure, even after all this time.

It was just over a year since Nikki had been released from HMP Larkhall, where she spent 4 years for attacking and killing a police officer who had been trying to rape Trisha, her girlfriend at the time. She had originally been sentenced to life for murder, but Helen, who was the Governor at Larkhall at the time, spent the last few months of her time at Larkhall working all out on Nikki's appeal. The appeal succeeded and Nikki was released after her sentence was reduced from murder to manslaughter. That night Nikki and Helen fell into each other's arms outside Chix, Nikki's club, and they had barely been apart since.

Helen dumped the bags she was holding onto the kitchen table and went over to switch on some music. The room filled with sweet piano notes, accompanied by a female voice singing softly about love and happiness. The music matched both women's mood perfectly and they started to unpack their shopping in an intimate, companionable silence, both soaking up the deep, meaningful music and enjoying spending time with each other. They had both expected the novelty of being able to spend time together freely to wear off after a couple of weeks, possibly months but it hadn't. Helen had got herself a part time job with the Home Office, creating links between lifers' units in prison's across the country. It was an interesting job, but nowhere near as hands-on as her previous jobs, she never actually visited prisons anymore, and it was only 4 days a week with almost exactly the same hours as Nikki's job in the local library. This gave them a long weekend from Thursday afternoon until Monday morning, completely free every week; they often went out to the country or down to the beach for a few days, to get away from the business of London where they lived and worked.

Their relationship hadn't all been plain sailing; they had had their fair share of rows, disagreements and even all out arguments, sometimes it was small things like what they should watch on the television or an insensitive reference to a past relationship, sometimes it was bigger things like Helen's reluctance to tell certain people about her new sexuality or either of them overreacting to situations where they became jealous. Whatever the row was about, it was usually triggered by news from or about Larkhall, which always caused emotions to run high and tempers to fray. Nikki still got regular letters from Barbara Hunt, her ex-cellmate and sometimes from the two Julies, occasionally Yvonne Atkins wrote, but Yvonne's letters were always filled with confusing messages that Nikki assumed she was supposed to be able to decipher but she rarely could.

As soon as the shopping was all unpacked and tidied away, Nikki poured two glasses of expensive red wine and her and Helen snuggled up together on the sofa, chatting gently about their respective days at work and their plans for the coming weekend. Helen's head was rested gently in her partner's lap and she could feel Nikki's soft hand tenderly stroking her thigh. She felt so calm, so happy and so right.


	3. Chapter 3

Karen was feeling pretty pleased with herself. Her meeting with Shell Dockley had gone pretty well, Shell's story had backed up what Colin had told her, and if she added that to her report on Fenner raping her then she definitely had a good case against Fenner. There was just one more person she needed to speak to before her dossier was completed, Helen Stewart.

The only problem was that Helen was not going to be easy to find. She had tried a few times before to locate the ex-number one but to no avail. She had scoured the phone book, twice, gone through the personnel files for all the prisons she could find, but nothing. She had even called Thomas Waugh, he had been blunt and unhelpful. "No, I don't know where Helen is. And I don't care. Last time I saw her was the day after she left Larkhall." she said sharply and angrily, "Stupid woman" he mumbled and the phone went dead.

Karen was down to her last resort, Yvonne. Karen knew that Yvonne was well connected and had ways of finding things out and Karen trusted her, but, because Yvonne was a prisoner, Karen was wary about going to her for help, it could get them both in trouble. The two women had become quite close friends over the last few months, despite the bars, and Karen knew that Yvonne would be all too happy to help if it would mean getting rid of Fenner.

By the end of her shift that evening, Karen had an address for Helen Stewart, courtesy of Lauren Atkins. Initially, she was planning to head straight over there, but then she thought better of it. She needed to get her head together and work out what to say and what to ask, she couldn't just go in there unprepared, asking insensitive questions and requesting help. She and Helen were not getting on particularly well last time they saw each other. Karen knew it was her fault, for trusting Fenner, but Karen was unsure whether Helen would be prepared to forgive her and help her, even if it was to get rid of Fenner.


	4. Chapter 4

Neil had had very little trouble finding an address for Helen Stewart, he asked around all the people he knew in the Prison Service and the Home Office and it turned out that Daniel, one of his old boyfriends, had met her through his work with lifers in HMP Holloway.

Neil had never actually met Helen but she had been mentioned many times on the wing. It was evident that neither Jim or Sylvia gave Helen an ounce of respect and he was pretty sure that neither Di or Karen particularly loved her regime either. He had, of course, read Helen's report about Jim Fenner's sexual assault on her, but it just bought up more questions.

The report seemed to imply that Helen was gay but Sylvia had told him in great detail about the time that Helen's fiancé had turned up in the prison garden and burnt his wedding suit and there was a rumour that Helen had been seeing the SMO. There were other questions too, like why Helen hadn't pressed charges against Jim, or even followed up her report; and why she had just packed up and left Larkhall, twice.

Neil hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address he had been given for Helen. On the way, he considered what Daniel had told him about Helen; it didn't seem to fit with what little he had gleaned from Larkhall files and whispered rumours around the prison. Daniel had described a fun, jolly, light-hearted woman who got on well with everybody she met. Some things that Daniel said, such as that Helen was always late and that she really cared for the women in prison, did seem to match what he had heard, from the residents at least, not the officers. The taxi drew up outside a large, white, terraced house in a well-off part of London, so Neil decided he would see for himself what Helen was like.


	5. Chapter 5

Nikki felt like the luckiest person in the world. Here she was, a free woman, curled up on a comfy sofa, listening to beautiful music, with the love of her life snuggled against her, it couldn't get any better. She felt Helen, who had been dozing lightly, stir and her heart nearly burst, she felt so proud, of them both, for surviving through everything and getting to this point, even though it had been hard. Nikki knew that she had found the one person that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, her soul-mate.

Helen smiled up at her, "What're you looking so serious about sweetheart?" asked the Scott, sleepily. "I love you so much" came Nikki's reply, accompanied by a brief but meaningful kiss. "I love you too, sweetheart." replied Helen, as a big smile decorated her face, she leaned up to Nikki and the two of them met in a deep, passionate kiss that seemed to make time freeze and the whole world disappear. However, time did not freeze and the world did not disappear, they were rudely interrupted by a sharp cry from the doorbell. Nikki dragged herself unenthusiastically to the door and opened it to be faced with an unfamiliar face.

The man at the door was tall, well built, stern looking man with short dark hair and wearing a smart suit. "Hello, my name is Neil Grayling, you must be Helen Stewart, it's a pleasure to meet you." he said, offering his hand, Nikki took his hand, "Oh, hello, but I'm not Helen, I'm Nikki, come in though, Helen is in the front room." Nikki replied opening the door and standing aside to let him in.

Helen, who had been listening from the front room, shook herself to make sure she was properly awake, then peered into the hall to see if she recognised the visitor. She did not. Although the name did ring a bell, and from the look on Nikki's face she was thinking exactly the same thing. "I'm Helen Stewart, do come through." said Helen, formally, gesturing towards the front room. "Neil Grayling. Thank you. I am so sorry to disturb you at this time of night" Neil went into the front room, Nikki went to follow him but Helen caught her arm.


	6. Chapter 6

Neil surveyed the room he had just entered. It was spacious yet somehow still cosy, the lights were soft and there were two half empty wine glasses on the coffee table. There was soft, unfamiliar music swimming from a high class hifi system in the corner and two of the walls were lined head to toe with bookshelves, tightly packed with a multitude of books, most of each looked well read but still well looked after. He hear frantic whispering from the hallway and this lead him to consider what else he had discovered about the mysterious Helen Stewart.

She didn't look like he had expected. He had anticipated, he didn't know why, a tall, serious, imposing woman who could give Jim Fenner a run for his money. In reality, Helen Stewart was a small, polite, kind looking woman; he could not imagine her walking the corridors of Larkhall, much the less standing up to Jim Fenner. She certainly didn't look like the kind of woman who could run a prison, not that he was prejudice, she just didn't seem to fit the picture. This visit had confirmed that Helen was gay, despite what Sylvia had said. It was clear to him that Helen and Nikki were together, just from the way they looked at each other.

Helen and Nikki entered the room together. Helen sat down, indicating for Neil to take a seat; Nikki disappeared through a door into what appeared to be the kitchen, appearing minutes later with a bottle of wine and a third glass. She filled the glass and handed it to Neil, then refilled the two from the table, passed one to Helen and then sat down next to her.

"So Neil, what can we do for you?" asked Helen politely, with a kind smile. "I'm here to ask for your help Miss Stewart," Neil said, "Helen, please" interrupted the smiling woman, "Sorry, Helen, I am the governing Governor at Larkhall prison," started Neil. To his surprise, at the mention of the name of his workplace, both women breathed in sharply and grabbed on to each other, looking like they had just been smacked in the face. This completely threw Neil, he had guessed that Helen might be reluctant to talk about what had happened but he hadn't expected this unsubtle fear that had taken over the two women in front of him. It also brought up another question, who was this Nikki? She looked just as fearful as Helen did. Had she worked at Larkhall too? Could she help him?


	7. Chapter 7

The mention of Larkhall felt like a physical blow to Helen, and from Nikki's reaction,it was clear that she felt the same. Suddenly a wash of painful memories flooded back to her. All the times she had felt beaten or attacked; all the people she had failed: Zandra, Shaz; all the abuse she had suffered from above, below and beside her; Fenner's assault. She trembled at the thought, holding on to Nikki tightly, absorbing strength and comfort from the contact.

Nikki had been dragged back to her tiny cell by Neil's words. Sickly green filled her eyes, banging doors and night-calls filled her ears, it was like she had never left. She shuddered, remembering the long lonely nights, the verbal abuse from officers like Hollamby and Fenner and the torment of not being able to be with Helen. She squeezed up against Helen, desperate for reassurance that she wasn't going to be locked up again.

"Um...Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just wondered if you could help me, we are compiling a case against Jim Fenner and..." gabbled Neil until, at the mention of Jim Fenner Helen yelped and buried her face in Nikki's chest; Nikki, for one second, looked like a rabbit in the headlights then she put her arms protectively around Helen and kissed her lightly on the shoulder to let her know she was there. Helen was reliving, in full colour, the time that Fenner had assaulted her, she was shivering with fear as her brain replayed every painful second. Nikki could hear Fenner's taunts as if he was in the room, she was scared, both for herself and for Helen, who was shaking ferociously and whimpering, as if Fenner was actually there.

The two women held each other for a few seconds until their breathing leveled out and their hearts stopped battering their rib-cages. Then Nikki took a deep breath in and sheepishly looked up at their visitor. Bracing herself for what was to come, squeezing Helen's hand in reassurance.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm really sorry, it's just that we are compiling a case against him and I was wondering if you would help me." said Neil carefully, embarrassed about how his words had affected these women, "We have already got quite a lot. I mean I've still got your old dossier, Karen has gone to the psychiatric facility to get a statement from Michelle Dockley, and of course We've got Karen's rape allegation too. But you know what he's like, we need everything we can get." pleaded Neil.

Helen was still buried in Nikki's chest, but Nikki looked up, confusion written all over her face. "Shell's in a muppet house? Betts was raped? I thought her and Fenner were engaged." she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. This confirmed to Neil that Nikki had had something to do with Larkhall too, what exactly, he wasn't sure. It also told him that neither of them were keeping up to date with what was happening there.

"Michelle Dockley was taken into psychiatric after she allegedly tried to smother her baby. However, I have new information that seems to imply that Jim made this up because Dockley refused to continue being pimped by him after her son was born. Karen has also reported that Jim raped her after their relationship ended but she chose not to press charges because she did not want her son to have to hear about it." Neil informed the women. At this point Helen's head emerged from Nikki's chest, her eyes red and swollen, perplexity written all over her face. "A lot has happened since we left." Helen remarked with a half-hearted giggle. She looked at her partner with a wavering smile that Nikki returned before they both turned to face Neil again.

"Look," said Helen assuredly, "We are both really glad that youv'e got so much evidence against Fenner. And we really hope that you get the bastard. But we can't help you, we're sorry." This bewildered Neil. He had expected that Helen might not feel comfortable talking about it, but he had assumed that she would be as desperate to get rid of Jim as Karen was, her certainly wasn't prepared for her to plainly refuse to help in any way. "Sorry, but are you sure? This could be the final piece that we need to nail him completely." he asked. "Sorry, but no way. We just can't. Sorry. Good luck though, it was nice to meet you." Nikki said forcefully, standing up and opening the door into the hallway, her face stern and emotionless.

Neil understood that this was his cue to leave, it was obvious that he wasn't going to get Helen's support now. He would talk to Karen in the morning, she had worked with Helen so might have more luck, she also might know who Nikki was. He thanked the women and left quickly, not wanting to upset them even more.


	9. Chapter 9

As the front door closed, Nikki sighed. When she had invited in that smart, businesslike looking man into their home, she had not expected him to start bringing up that hellhole and all the bad memories that came with it. She hurried into the front room to check on Helen who was sitting, staring into space. She looked so small and vulnerable. Nikki knew that her partner still had nightmares about the night that Fenner assaulted her, just as Nikki still had nightmares about being locked in her old cell.

Although they regularly heard news from Larkhall, both women worked hard to avoid talking properly about their time there, whenever they did mention it, they usually ended up arguing. Both Nikki and Helen knew that the reason why their discussions about the prison so often triggered an altercation, was that neither of them had talked openly about their feelings surrounding Larkhall and what they experienced there. It was complicated. They didn't talk about it because they would argue, but they argued about it because they didn't talk about it.

Nikki walked over to Helen and reached to put an arm around her, however, Helen viciously catapulted off the sofa into the corner of the room, silently glaring into nowhere. "Sweetheart." pleaded Nikki, weakly. Helen stormed angrily out of the room leaving Nikki feeling helpless and alone. Situations like this seemed to be the only times when Nikki and Helen couldn't connect with each other, one of them always shut the other out. Nikki sat down with her head in her hands, trying to work out the best way to help her partner.


	10. Chapter 10

As Karen and the other officers unlocked the cells on their wing the next morning, Karen was still feeling furious with herself. She had wimped out of going to see Helen Stewart last night because she realised she had no idea what to say to her, or how Helen would react to seeing her. Initially, she had been planning just to turn up and ask Helen to help her in the battle against Jim Fenner, then she realised that she needed to be a lot more tactful if Helen was going to agree to help her. Last time the two women had spoken, they were not on the best of terms.

Until she reached Yvonne's cell, Karen had been working on auto-pilot. However, when she opened the door, Yvonne leapt over, her eyes wide, "How did it go? What did she say? Will she help?", Yvonne's unusually tense manner surprised Karen who looked sheepishly at the floor, "I didn't go. I couldn't work out what I would say.", "Your kidding?" snapped Yvonne, "Just go. Speak to her. She was a decent sort. And she hated Fenner!", "Yes, I know," Karen sighed, "Its just that...well...last time I saw her...it wasn't great. I'll go this evening though. I will!" Both women looked at each other silently for a few seconds. "Good luck then." Yvonne said, walking out onto the landing, not looking back at Karen.

As Karen headed back towards the PO's office, Di attracted her attention across the landing, "Neil wants to see you, he's in his office." she said matter-of-factly. So Karen, after glancing around the canteen to check that everything was alright, made her way up to the number one's office. She bumped into Colin Hedges on the way and she greeted him politely, he wasn't looking well. The orderly was just coming out of Neil's office as Karen arrived, so Karen didn't knock, she went straight in and sat down, "Morning sir.", "Karen, thanks for coming. Coffee?" Neil gestured to the pot on his desk. Karen poured herself some and took a sip, looking at Neil thoughtfully, he seemed more...awkward...than usual, something was different.

"I went to see Helen Stewart last night." Neil said, his emotions unclear. Karen almost gasped with surprise. "Oh...wow...um...I was actually planning to visit her tonight. What did she say?" she asked, still taken aback by Neil's pro-activeness. Neil pulled an unreadable face, "She got really upset and her partner asked me to leave. They said that they won't help." Both of them sat in silence for a few seconds. "Are you sure?" Karen asked quietly. "We can't give up. Will you come with me to see them again tonight?" Neil asked determinedly,"It may be easier. You knew them. Oh yes, I was going to ask, has someone called Nikki worked here? Helen's partner seemed equally upset when I spoke to them.", "Nikki? Last time, I saw Helen she was still with Thomas." Karen replied, surprised that the couple had broken up, "They seemed pretty perfect for each other. He left at the same time she did." she continued. "Wait, Helen used to be straight?" inquired Neil. "What do you mean 'used to be'?" asked Karen, thoroughly confused.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning Nikki and Helen still hadn't spoken about what Neil had said. In fact, they hadn't spoken at all. Helen wasn't sure why she felt so angry with Nikki, it wasn't logical. Both of them had been upset by Neil visit, Nikki seemed to just want to cuddle up and forget about it but Helen couldn't. Something had snapped inside her and she was feeling so angry and confused. When Nikki had tried to snuggle up to her for safety and security, Helen had instinctively jumped away. For some reason it didn't feel right to be in a warm, comfortable embrace with her partner. It might have been guilt, that Helen had escaped Fenner's grasp and was now living happily with the love of her life, but Karen and Shell had both been taken advantage of by the bastard.

Helen was now feeling really guilty, not just about leaving the women of Larkhall to suffer at the hands of Jim Fenner, but also about pushing Nikki away at a time when she really needed love and support. She went into the kitchen where Nikki was making coffee and went to put her arms around the taller woman. Nikki though, leapt away bitterly, slamming down the coffee pot and walking over to the table before turning to look at Helen. "Sweetheart, please." pleaded Helen. "What's your problem Helen? Last night we could have really helped each other by talking things through or just being there for each other but no, you decided that I am not good enough for you. You punish me like its my fault he came here or my fault what we both experienced in that place." ranted Nikki, "I'm sorry." interrupted Helen,

"SORRY? I just wanted to make sure that you were OK, because I care about you and I was worried about you. And, to be honest, I could have really done with some support last night, you aren't the only one who has bad memories of that place. You are supposed to care about me, you said you loved me." Nikki continued ferociously. "I do care, I love you so much it hurts, there is no excuse for what I did last night, I just...I...I just..." Helen broke down into tears.

Nikki stormed out angrily. "I'm going out." she shouted, grabbing her coat and slamming the front door behind her. Helen was left standing in the hallway, shell-shocked. Had she finally blown it? Gone too far? Pushed Nikki over the edge? She panicked.

Two and a half hours later Helen was frantic. Why hadn't Nikki come home? Why hadn't she called. Her mobile was turned off but Helen had left nearly 50 messages on it, she also called the library, they hadn't heard anything, she had even called Trish, but she hadn't seen Nikki either. Helen was just about to call the police to report her missing when she heard a key in the lock of the front door. She froze as Nikki entered, unsure of how to react, they just stared at each other speechlessly. Silent tears ran down Helen's face, she was totally overwhelmed. Her legs began to buckle, but before she collapsed completely Nikki was at her side, holding her in a tight embrace, "I'm sorry." Nikki whispered quietly. "Me too." sobbed Helen.


	12. Chapter 12

Straight after her meeting with Neil ended, Karen rushed back to the wing. She was planning to go straight to Yvonne and tell her what Neil had said and what they had planned for that night, however, when she arrived back at the wing, Julie S was there having refused to stay at the hospital any longer after her operation, this meant lots of paperwork for Karen. She had to liaise with the hospital and talk to the SMO about Julie's treatment, plus organise ID and a pass for the breast care nurse who would be visiting regularly.

Eventually she found time to go and speak to Yvonne, who was lying on her bed smoking a cigarette when Karen entered her cell. "Worked out what you're gunna say t'Miss Stewart yet?" the older woman asked. "Not quite but guess what!" Karen replied, "Neil, I mean Mr Grayling, he went to see Helen last night. Spoke to her. She said she won't help but he's going to go back tonight. I'm going with him. There is still a chance.", "You think you can persuade her?" asked Yvonne. "I don't know. I'll try, I promise."

Later that evening, Karen found herself driving her and her boss to visit Helen Stewart. She had been thinking hard about what Neil said about Helen being with someone from Larkhall called Nikki, she racked her brains, trying to work it out. She couldn't think of a single officer or member of staff at Larkhall called Nikki but she still felt like she was forgetting someone. The name definitely rang a bell.

Neil was looking decidedly nervous as they arrived on the doorstep of the large, beautifully looked after house. "You OK sir?" Karen asked, concerned. "I'm just not completely confident that they are going to let me in. They were both in a right state when they kicked me out last night." replied the number one. "Well, here goes." said Karen with an unwelcome knot in her stomach as she pressed the doorbell.


	13. Chapter 13

After lots of tears, cuddles and apologies, Helen and Nikki were definitely back on track. They both accepted that the issue of Larkhall had messed with their heads, they had both got upset and lost their tempers, unfairly treated each other. They had fallen back into each others arms, fitting together perfectly. This is what love is: the ability to feel so safe in each other's arms.

They spent the rest of the afternoon together, talking (not about Larkhall though), laughing and listening to music. It felt perfect. By the time evening came they had put on their favourite CD of love songs and were dancing around the front room in utter bliss. Dancing with Helen felt like the most natural thing in the world for Nikki, their bodies just seemed to flow together into one graceful being and it always felt so intimate. Nikki was completely lost in the music and in Helen, until they were rudely interrupted by the doorbell.

Nikki made her way towards the door but Helen beat her to it so Nikki stayed in the front room, listening out to see if she could hear who was calling on them at that time of night. She heard the door open, then immediately slam closed again. "Its him again Nikki" Helen whimpered, Nikki could hear voices from outside. She yanked open the curtains and opened the big bay window in the front room, "Just leave us alone! We can't help you! Stop bothering us!" Nikki yelled to the people outside, she then noticed that Neil was not alone.

Upon seeing the blonde woman who was standing next to him, Nikki leapt away from the window, "Shit!" she swore, backing as far away from the open window as possible, "Miss Betts is with him, I think she saw me.", "Karen? Are you sure?" muttered Helen apprehensively, going to the window and gingerly peering out. "God it is. Shit." she whispered, carefully closing the window and the curtains, then shuffling over to give Nikki a cuddle. "You OK sweetheart?" Helen asked. "Yea, you?" replied Nikki, tilting her head to look into her partner's eyes. "Fine." Helen reassured her, kissing Nikki passionately. Neither of them wanted to think about Karen Betts or how she might be reacting to what she saw.


	14. Chapter 14

"Well that went well." said Neil, angrily glaring at the closed door, "Karen are you OK? You look like you've seen a ghost." he asked, concerned. "It can't be!" she muttered, and raced back to her car. She sat there muttering to herself like a madwoman until Neil sat beside her and she drove off. "Karen, I know you're frustrated, but please don't be angry." Neil said calmly, "We'll get him Karen, I promise.", "What? Sorry? Um...oh right...um...yea...get him...yes." Karen mumbled.

Neil was confused at Karen's reaction to their failure. It was understandable that she would be disappointed, upset even, but this. Somethings wasn't right. He glanced out of the window and realised that they definitely were not heading towards his flat, or Karen's, they were heading back in the direction of Larkhall.

"Karen, are we going back to work? Why?" he asked, bemused. "Nikki," muttered Karen angrily, "I don't believe it. It can't be.", "What are you talking about Karen? Did you recognise Nikki looking out of the window? Do know her? Did she work at Larkhall? Will she help us, even if Helen won't?" Neil asked, enthused by the possibility. "It can't be." Karen continued as if Neil hadn't even spoken. They sat in silence for the rest of the journey.

Karen parked the car and hurtled towards the main gate, Neil followed her, still thoroughly mystified. The chap on duty let them both in, giving Neil a curious look, which the number one answered with a shrug. Karen was barreling her way towards the records library next to the reception, she seemed to have forgot that Neil was even there.

She raced over to the wall of filing cabinets, glancing at the labels until she found the one she was looking for and wrenched it open. Neil jumped back in surprise at the noise, he was starting to worry about Karen, she looked scarily angry and he couldn't understand why. Then Karen came running at him madly, waving a file in her hand, pointing to the mug shot on the cover, "Is that her? The one that was at Helen's? Please tell me it wasn't. Please!" she babbled.


	15. Chapter 15

Both Helen and Nikki just wanted to forget that Karen Betts had been on the doorstep that evening. Helen was feeling really shaken and she was sure that Nikki was feeling just the same, she didn't want to talk about it, she just wanted to be with Nikki. She lent into another deep, passionate kiss with her partner, running her hands through Nikki's hair. Nikki kissed her back, pushing Helen down onto the sofa and straddling her waist. Helen's hands busied themselves with Nikki's blouse as she felt Nikki's hands unbuttoning her trousers, both of them were breathing quickly and heavily and Helen could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

Some time later they were lying together curled up on their bed, enjoying the simple intimacy of their situation. At times like this Larkhall seemed a million miles away and they could both forget, for a short time, all the pain they had endured to get to this point. Helen, exhausted after their passionate session, breathed in deeply, taking in the familiar smell of her partner. She nuzzled her face into Nikki's chest and felt a light kiss on the top of her head.

The doorbell rang for the second time that night; both women gasped audibly and grabbed onto each other for support, "Don't answer it." whispered Nikki. "No." Helen agreed. However, both women continued hanging onto each other in fear. They heard angry knocking and shouting, "Let me in Helen, now! Let me IN!", "Betts," breathed Nikki as Helen whimpered. "It's OK sweetheart. I'm here," Nikki reassured her partner. "HELEN STEWART LET ME IN NOW ELSE I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" screamed Karen's voice from the doorstep.

By this point, tears of terror were streaming down Helen's face. She looked up and saw that Nikki was crying too, "We can't let her call the police," Helen whispered, "Should I go down?", "No baby, I'm not letting her upset you." said Nikki forcibly. "I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES HERE HELEN! LET ME IN!" another yell came up. Sobbing loudly, Helen stumbled out of the bed, pulled on her short, silk dressing-gown and crept tenderly downstairs, Nikki followed behind her, pulling on her own dressing-gown. Helen could hear the telltale ragged breathing that gave away how scared Nikki really was, even though she was trying to hide it to support Helen.


	16. Chapter 16

"LET ME IN RIGHT NOW HELEN STEWART! I'M NOT JOKING! I WILL CALL THE POLICE!" Karen yelled, burning with anger. There must be a mistake. Helen Stewart would not be so unprofessional. Living with an ex-con? Neil had hinted at more, but he must have been imagining it, Helen was certainly not gay. Think about Thomas Waugh and that other guy, the one she was engaged to, who burnt his wedding suit in-front of the whole wing.

Karen heard a click at the door and it opened a centimeter, "Please Karen, just leave us alone." whispered a quiet voice through the tiny crack. "Let me in and explain everything Helen." barked Karen, reaching her hand in and pulling open the door. She shoved her way aggressively through the door and found herself staring into Helen Stewart's fearful, tear-stained face. She suddenly felt really guilty for barging into this woman's house, but this feeling evaporated as soon as she saw Nikki peeking out behind her. "Tell me everything." demanded Karen, sternly,

All three women made their way silently into the front room and it was then that Karen realised what the other two women were wearing. She was shocked to say the least. Both women were wearing tiny, silk, wraparound dressing-gowns that were barely decent, a far cry from Helen's Wing-Governor power suits and Nikki's bland prison outfits that Karen was used to seeing the two women wearing. Karen saw Nikki wipe the tears from her face, "I'll put the kettle on." the ex-con whispered, leaving the room.

"What IS she doing here? You are unbelievable Helen Stewart! Don't you remember what she did?" Karen asked furiously. "SHE WAS PROTECTING TRISHA" shouted Helen, "and I love her." she continued. "LOVE?" Karen yelled "SHE'S A MURDERER!" Helen's eyes snapped to look Karen directly in the eye, "No she is NOT. Do NOT speak about her like that." Helen said in a dangerous tone that made the hair on the back of Karen's neck stand up.


	17. Chapter 17

Nikki walked in carrying a tray with three cups of tea and a bowl of sugar on it. Her heart fluttered as she heard Helen defending her to the blonde officer, it was a mixture between pride, love and absolute terror. She put the tray down on the coffee table, never taking her eyes of Karen, "Why are you here Miss Betts? We told Neil, we can't help you." Nikki said, her voice remaining calm despite how she really felt inside. "I want to know what the hell is going on between you two and why either of you think your situation is acceptable." stated Karen with authority.

"We love each other." said Nikki simply at the same time that Helen shouted angrily, "It's none of your business you bitch. Neither of us are at Larkhall anymore, we aren't doing anything wrong.", "Sweetheart, calm down, don't get angry. It's OK." whispered Nikki, stroking Helen's cheek and then squeezing her hand in reassurance. "Sorry, I love you too." Helen told her. She noticed Karen Bett's eyes flickering from Helen's cheek to the couple's hands, but Nikki couldn't read her expression. Confusion? Disgust? Anger?

"Please Karen, just go." begged Helen, her voice wobbling. "Jim lied to me about so many things. He's an utter bastard but he has a habit of making people believe him. As soon as I realised what a bastard he is, I stopped believing anything he said. He was always adamant that there was something between you two. Don't tell me he was right. What else was he telling the truth about?" Karen rambled. "Listen Miss Betts, Karen," Nikki said, glancing at Helen, willing her not to be angry, "Nothing happened until after I was released. I assure you."


	18. Chapter 18

Karen didn't know whether to believe what Nikki said, but she realised that even if it wasn't true she had no chance of getting Nikki or Helen to tell her the facts. "Right," Karen said, unconvinced by Nikki's story, "Then tell me why you won't help us." she demanded. Nikki and Helen looked at each other with panic written across both their faces. "We just can't." Nikki said with gritted teeth, as Helen burst into noisy tears, burying her face into Nikki's chest.

"But why not?" asked Karen, frustrated, but by this point Helen was hysterical. She was sobbing uncontrollably in Nikki's arms when she started to gasp for breath and clamped her hands over her ears, shaking her head. "Shit." muttered Nikki to herself, then "It's OK sweetheart. Remember what Dr Chester said. Breath from down here. Slowly." putting her hand on Helen's abdomen. "Listen Karen, she's having a panic attack. She needs her medication. Its in the cupboard above the sink in the bathroom upstairs. Its got a dark blue label."

Karen rushed up the stairs, she could see that Helen was in a bad way and she felt really guilty for what had happened. She had been so angry at what she had discovered about Helen Stewart and Nikki Wade, that she forgot to be sensitive and had ended up triggering Helen's panic attack. "Karen, please could you bring a blanket too. They're on top of the wardrobe in the bedroom. Thanks." Nikki's voice swam up, smoothly, from downstairs., it was obvious that she had dealt with this situation before, she was managing to stay completely calm and in control while Karen was panicked and confused.

She opened several doors on the upstairs landing before finding the bathroom; she entered, walking straight over to the sink then pausing. It was strange enough seeing the peculiar couple sitting on the sofa cuddling, but here she was, in their bathroom. It didn't look very different to any other bathroom she had been in before. A half finished tube of toothpaste and two toothbrushes sat side-by-side in a plastic cup on the edge of the sink; the simple domesticity of this image almost reduced Karen to tears.

It hit her that these women were really serious about each other and that it wasn't just a game or a bit of fun. They were sharing their lives, properly. It was more than Karen had done with anyone since her ex-husband Owen and with him there had never been evenings together snuggled on the sofa, no romance, completely different from these two. "Karen have you found them?" called Nikki and Karen jumped to her senses. "Just coming." she called, picking out the bottle of tablets from the cupboard.

Before she went downstairs, she located the bedroom, a beautifully decorated room full of photos of the smiling couple and ornaments that looked like they had come from all over the world. The wardrobe was colossal; an intricately carved wooden giant, that managed not to dominate the room too much. For some unknown reason, Karen found herself opening the wardrobe, examining its contents, it looked nothing like hers and Owen's had. Here, a rainbow of colours shone out, elegant evening dresses hung next to comfy looking woolly jumpers, but most importantly all the clothes were mingled together, there was no 'Nikki's clothes here' and 'Helen's clothes here', it was a compound of two lives that were well and truly bonded together. It was beautiful. Karen gently shut the wardrobe door and grabbed a blanket off the top, turning to go back downstairs.


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as Karen reentered the front room, Nikki grabbed the blanket and wrapped it tightly around, the now shivering, Helen, then took the bottle of tablets, taking two out and placing them straight into Helen's mouth, then gently lifting the glass of water she had just fetched from the kitchen to her lips. Helen drank deeply and swallowed the pills. She was still shivering madly but Nikki knew that it would calm down before long, she was used to Helen's panic attacks. In the first few months after Larkhall they had happened almost every other day, but now they were a lot less regular, not even once a fortnight. Nikki herself had had a few bad nights, dreaming of being trapped in her cell, but never as bad as Helen.

Nikki gave Helen a light kiss on the forehead and whispered, "I love you sweetheart. It'll be OK." Helen's shivering was subsiding, her breathing was less frantic and it seemed that she was no longer hearing the violent buzzing that was a regular symptom of her anxiety. Nikki squeezed her hand to reassure her, glad that the attack seemed to be passing, then remembered that Karen Betts was still there and looked around.

Nikki was surprised to see a string of tears rolling down Karen's face. "What's up?" asked Nikki, defensively, only to be met by an uncomfortably probing stare from the blonde woman. "This is real isn't it." said Karen quietly. "What's real?" asked Nikki, thrown by the question and by Karen's tears. "You two. I mean... you're real...I...I mean...well...serious." Karen babbled confusingly, trying to simplify her words, "You care."

"Of course I care." said Nikki, slightly angry, "I love her. This isn't a stupid game. We aren't childish teenagers just messing around. This is forever." she continued, stroking Helen's face. Helen had pretty much calmed down now, her breathing had leveled and she had stopped shaking, now she was looking up at Nikki with a weak smile. Nikki leaned down to kiss her, "Feeling better?" she asked. "Yes." replied Helen, "I love you too. Forever." she added, kissing Nikki again.

"Look Karen," Helen continued, "I know it's not strictly allowed, me being with Nikki but, as Nikki said, nothing happened until after her release, and I had left the prison service by then. I really love her.", "Alright," said Karen, "I've heard you. But why does this mean you can't help with our case against Jim?" These words made Nikki shudder, she glanced over at Helen, unsure how to answer the question. "It'll come out." replied Helen, "Now please Karen, just leave us alone. We just want to get on with our life. Good luck with the case but please, leave us out of it."


	20. Chapter 20

Karen stood up, resigned to the fact that she wouldn't get any help from either of these women. She was puzzled by her own reaction to the revelation of Nikki and Helen's relationship. She should be angry, admittedly she had been at the beginning, but now she sort of felt jealous. Not because she liked Nikki or Helen in that way, but because they had this beautiful, loving, caring relationship. Karen envied them. Then suddenly it hit her.

"If nothing happened before you both left Larkhall, then how did Jim know about you two?" she demanded. This time it was Nikki who did all the shouting, "Helen asked you to leave so go. Leave us alone. We've left Larkhall and Fenner behind. We just want to move on.", "You didn't answer my question." said Karen forcefully, fuming that they were keeping something from her. Nikki jumped up aggressively but Helen held her back. "Jim Fenner guessed my feelings for Nikki while I was still at Larkhall, feelings that I did not act on until after I left. He had absolutely no proof, because there was nothing to prove, but he did refer to it during his sexual assault on me. I am not prepared to risk him discovering that he was right; it might put Nikki in danger. I promised that I would keep her safe." and with this, Helen broke down into fresh tears.

Nikki put her arms around her lover, "Karen, please just leave. We can't help. and tell your Mr Grayling, and anyone else involved, to stay away." Nikki walked into the hallway and opening the front door, indicating for Karen to leave; it was clear that she had overstayed her welcome.

She left, closing the front door behind her. Finally resigned to the fact that Helen Stewart would not help her. Standing on the doorstep, overwhelmed by the evenings events, Karen pondered the officer-inmate relationship. One person stuck in her mind. Yvonne Atkins.


End file.
